Self-Harm

Self-harm is more common than people think, with between 10-20% of young people exhibiting self-injurious behaviours. Self-harm is usually associated with cutting but it can be in many different forms such as burning, drinking excessively or any behaviour that causes injury; it can also be through undertaking extremely high risk behaviours. Whilst it does occur more in girls, boys also self-harm. People often think of cutting as an attempt at suicide or ‘just for attention’, however, self-harm is usually a way of coping with distress or difficult thoughts and feelings, people often describe it as a ‘release’ of the pain that they are feeling emotionally. People’s reasons for feeling the urge to harm themselves differ from person to person but some of the triggers can include difficulties at home, bullying, depression, anxiety, major changes in their life such as moving schools or bereavement.

How to support people who are self-harming

• Set plenty of time aside to talk to them where you will be free from interruption. If you don’t have time at that particular moment, make sure to put time later in the day when you can listen to them.
• If possible, remove distractions such as computers and phones being on. This will allow you to give your full attention, letting them know you are there to listen to and support them.
• Acknowledge how difficult it might be to open up about their self-harm but don’t focus on or encourage them to tell you details about specific injuries or behaviours. Instead talk about how they are feeling and what they are going through.
• Try not to react shocked or disgusted. This can be hard as it’s difficult to understand why someone would harm themselves, but negative reactions can hurt the other person and may put them off talking to you.
• Know your limits: the person who has experienced self-harm might tell you to keep it a secret and not to tell anyone else. If you believe they are in immediate danger or have injuries that need medical attention, you need to take action to make sure they are safe.
• Reassure them that you are there for them and that there are lots of sources of support available to them. You might not understand what they are going through or why they do it but remind them you are there for them regardless.
• Avoid giving ultimatums; for example ‘stop or else…’ as these rarely work, and may drive behaviours underground. Furthermore, this may stop them talking to you and you might not get the chance to discuss the topic again.
• Offer them help in seeking professional support and provide information on ways to do this. You might want to offer to go the GP with them, or help them talk to a trusted adult or family member. Try not to take control and allow them to make decisions.
• Be positive and let them know that things will get better and recovery is possible!

Information obtained from Mental Health Foundation with their kind permission, for further reading please visit their website